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Monday, October 31, 2011
and i quote


"When you love someone, it seems impossible to stop loving him. And when you try, it's even more painful. But when you get past it, when you finally let go, that's when your heart will be free. You'll feel so much joy within you, and it's so hard to put into words the relief and satisfaction you feel when it's over. You've won the battle; you've run the race; and you've kept the faith. You've survived the ordeal, the drama, and you've come out of it alive. No doubt the battle scars and bruises will remain, at least you've learnt much from the experience and got to know yourself better. And maybe, just maybe, God will help the two of you make friends again. As if nothing happened. A new beginning; a fresh start. You'll look back at the years you spent agonizing over this guy you gave your whole heart to, and you'll laugh over how silly you were to fall so deep. It's true, even though the feelings may be gone, the pain and memories will still come back to you occasionally to remind you of what you went through. And you'll realise how crazy you were to fall in love with someone you hardly knew, and you'll wonder why it even happened. But when all is said and done, you'll be glad it happened, because most of all, you've learnt things you wouldn't have learnt if you didn't go through that"


never been more true
hello goodbye; 9:33 PM


Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Slow to speak, slow to anger
http://theinarticulateman.wordpress.com/2009/10/10/facebookfas/

happened to hit upon this while googling for images for Facebook fast for PW! it's really something that speaks to me, especially since i've been pretty angst-y lately and saying some things i regret saying. It's really a miracle i found this cuz, you don't simply find such a blog post while googling for something totally unrelated! besides, the blog isn't even a Bible blog or whatever, like Chonghao's. it was a personal blog about everything and anything and i had to find this post. God's definitely speaking. I shall keep this verse in mind (:

People who are eligible for H3 have been announced. As expected, my name wasn't on the list. As much as i try to seem nonchalant, i can't help but think of the chances i've missed, but more importantly, just how badly did i do for promos? BCC was the minimum criteria. We haven't got our results yet, so if this is any indication, i;m pretty screwed for promos. Results out on Friday. it scares me. 18 out of 25 in my class are eligible. my whole PW group got in, except for me. Almost the whole of the other elite physics class got in as well. Congrats to all the MG girls who got in. So many of you. Def making me proud of my alma mater. MG pride (: but yeah pretty worried for myself.

Mengyang's wedding on saturday was awkward because of the people we saw there. these people simply reminded abee and i about our sec4 year and how we used to ogle at them HEH. ok not just abee and I, but ruth gan and gang as well. stuff like the red-shirt guy, as we called him. (turns out he wore a really nice and smart blue shirt to the wedding ahah so much for being the red shirt guy) and jin. ah the good old days. stuff never seems to be the same anymore. even though we still hang out and are pretty tight, the feeling i have is that we aren't the same carefree kids we were last year. no more squealing, only muted voices to make sure no one hears what we're talking about. what has become of us? anyway, congratulations to Mengyang for finally getting married and i admire you for being the most faithful and loyal guy/boyfriend on earth cuz you waited so long for the one you love to be ready.

wish i had some one like that.
hello goodbye; 8:13 PM


Sunday, October 23, 2011
THE BOYS


Congrats to the lovely girls of smtown (: i remember how i used to not like snsd. but after awhile, i just began to accept their existence because you can't like most of smtown (SJ, Shinee, f(x), dong bang etc) without liking snsd. and i'm so glad i like them now! Totally anticipated their comeback the moment i saw the MV teaser. I like how their image has changes from cute to uh weird (i didn't like hoot HAHA) to plain sexy! the outfits remind a little of kara's lupin or BEG's abracadabra style. but the song. it's unbelievably catchy and so so sexy i have been singing it nonstop the past few days. this has definitely got to be one of their best songs yet (:



I love how sunny is dressed in blood red while the others are all in black or the occasional white! but her hair cut and all somehow doesn't seem to belong to the snsd stereotype. it's too edgy and different from the rest of her group mates. but it's still really pretty! i'd cut my hair like that if i could. slightly weak vocals on some parts, and i don't remember seeing much of sooyoung. but yes. snsd has just gotten better

I can't help but laugh when (is it jessica? i'm still really bad cause honestly they all still look the same to me HAHA.) says GG at the start. GG. PW GG indeed.
hello goodbye; 5:22 PM


Friday, October 14, 2011
alive
i apologise for the multiple video posts, but, even though i no longer check allkpop or any kpop news sites, new songs just keep appearing and enticing me to watch them. i just realised this is the 'season' where there's lots of activity going on in the kpop industry with all the big/extremely popular groups making their comebacks or releasing solo debuts. it usually starts late summer and continues into winter. so it's gonna be a jolly time while i try to keep up with the pace there (: lovely SJ is done, 2pm's junsu released a solo, hyunjoong released his 2nd mini album, wheesung's back and snsd is hitting stores soon. what more could i ask for?



meanwhile here's one of 2pm's japanese songs. with junsu looking scarily like the person i loved awhile back. gosh.
hello goodbye; 1:02 AM


Thursday, October 13, 2011
Dear record company,
thanks for making hyunjoong look like a bling bling casino-loving-gambling-addict uncle/ah-beng. you've done a fantastic job.



He looks terribly exhausted in this new MV. i didn't even know he was coming back again this soon, and it came just after i did my double-s post yesterday, too! kinda happy he's back, but this video is really, eww. hyunjoong isn't the best of dancers, but this really makes it seem way worse and undermines all his hard work. oh well.



ok the dance here actually doesn't look too bad or low level heh. but if they're gonna deck him out in those loud garish outfits like the love like this kind, i am going to flip. anticipating his stage comeback tomorrow! (:



more garish outfits, but in more muted colours (: i miss heechul's presence. :/



How i wish we could do something like this for PW. sadly my group is anti-tech (ironically we're doing fb addiction) and anti-extra work. kudos to mok's group, which made such a lovely video on enthalpy of all things. gosh. but everythings so pretty there, it makes chem actually seem fun. even if it was for that short two and a half minutes heh.
hello goodbye; 11:04 PM


SS501

no matter how much my brother tries to make me believe that ss501 is now ss301 or whatever number he fancies, i'm just really happy that a;; their solo debuts are complete (:



congrats kyujong on your debut! i know this was quite awhile back but i didn't have time to check it out back then. here's kyujong looking way more chiselled and sexy than he was back then in ss501. i can't help but notice his lovely cheekbones and jawline.

idk if it's just me, but the suspenders dance is kinda cheap. sorry. just like 2pm's tie dance in i'm your man. it's like selling yourself or something. so weird. but otherwise, it's an awesome debut for kyujong (:

i can't help but all double-s members' debuts here. it makes me happy to see all of them striking out on their own hee







i have absolutely no idea how i missed listening to this song (kiss kiss) when it came out! it's the cutest thing and i just love his glasses, though i'm not exactly raving about the weak vocals, but whatever. i could die watching this hehe











this is terrible. the more i search, the more i realise how many of their debut MVs and songs i've missed for various reasons. oh man. sorry jungminnie!





another missed one ): heard it somewhere on the radio though.



and his dance has really gotten better with practice yay yay(:

AND YES I'VE FINALLY FOUND IT! IMMA WATCH THIS SOON, MY FAV BOYS (: (i always sound conflicting with suju and double-s being my fav boys hahaha oops)


it's been a long time, my dears (: get back soon.

hello goodbye; 1:05 AM


Wednesday, October 12, 2011
it's been a really tough time for me post promos. i don't even know why i'm struggling when i should be enjoying myself and playing. i guess, having too much free time and a pair of parents who think i should be burying my head in books at this point makes life a torture. so i'm constantly arguing with them, being at home has become such a pain now. so i try to escape home as much as possible. it's terrible, but i don't really have a choice if i wanna keep my sanity intact.

but apart from that, escaping and running around has been a truckload of fun. so whenever i get really down, i remember all the fun i've had and all the people out there who love me then i get happier. even if it's by minute proportions, in comparison to the annoyance and anger i feel. it does get better over time. and i'm really grateful that God has taught me to let go. i think if i didn't know how to let go, i'd have gone mad by now. when i talk about it, it's merely exasperation. oh well.

yes, about all that running around last weekend!

I was admitted to a M18 movie unchecked on thursday with cynthia! it isn't something i'm exactly proud of, watching a M18 movie, but my point is, i can pass as an eighteen year old (: but in all honesty, friends with benefits wasn't even that explicit or anything. and we had a long chat over bagels and waffles! i've been craving for waffles ever since, months before promos. since July i think! ReStore is a great place to just chill and all. and it was lovely just chatting with siying and cyn

and i've explored most of the circle line over the weekends! not on purpose, mind you. i'm not that bored. on friday, i took a 50 plus minute train ride down to kallang to iceskate. it was. torture. haha but worth it! i hadn't iceskated in the longest time and i realised just how bad i was. but i got better towards the end (: alwyn is a hidden talent. he's perfect on skates, it's amazing.

Dinner with the old cell (or rather, bits of the old cell) was the best part of the week. i cannot put in words just how much the people there mean to me. shoutout to yvonne (who still calls me her shildhood friends, ily girl), alvin, chonghao and justin, i love you guys (:

Kinda evaded going home on monday after school by going to chonghao's place to lepak, and he kindly let me crash his place the whole afternoon, along with alvin. what a way to start the week :D

but other than that, PW has been a drag. But what made me happy today was the fact that i finally got to do something i love, which is to design. managed to design a couple of mock-ups for the iphone app we intend to propose. plus, the public speaking coach praised me for having good articulation. i don't think i heard he repeat that compliment with any other student. it makes me happy because that's something i've worked on for really long now, and it's finally paid off!

two more days to end the week and nine more days to seeing abee and grace koh. happy happy
hello goodbye; 11:23 PM


Thursday, October 6, 2011
promos are over! today hasn't been the best of days but meeting and talking with cyn and siying really made my day way better.

i think i'm struggling with this hater thing. i think people hate me, no kidding. and it's not just a few, i think it's a number of them. i'm starting to think one person's the root cause but i won't point fingers as yet. it sucks to feel so rejected and people kinda treat me like i don't even exist. some. not all. but i get this feeling that i have about 5 to 6 people who think i'm a really screwed girl who's probably really bitchy and gossipy because of the simple fact that i'm way too loud for them. oh i'm sorry if i've hurt your ears. but seriously. it's a gut feeling i get. i've got a full year more to cope with this and it's not gonna be easy but i'll try my best. definitely not going to change for them. i'm already trying to accommodate. so if they wanna be fake, i'll be real fake back to them. oh they haven't seen my mean, fake self. it's hard because i can feel it coming out and i keep suppressing it because i want to be this ideal person who embodies Christ. so i'm trying to be real nice and all but it's a bit hard. i know there aren't hurtful comments anywhere public at this stage. (thank God) but emotional vibes are bad enough. i'd rather they just say it in my face. like 'evann can you stop being so loud' or
evann why are you so weird' (live with it) or maybe even 'evann you're such a flirt' WHAT. seriously. well, at least that's what i think they think about me. oh wells. nothing's concrete but imo, that's what's going on. not a very nice feeling. man. i can't wait to see abee and grace koh to rant to them about this. D:

on another note, i crashed a M18 movie today, and the person didn't even bat an eyelid or do an ID check on me. happy happy (:
hello goodbye; 11:13 PM


Saturday, October 1, 2011
Iridescent
















some of these songs are so old, i know. it was back then in primary school when everyone was listening to avril lavigne and we all thought she was the epitome of 'cool' cause she piles on the eyeliner and has bleached/dyed hair and plays the guitar and everything. how silly. but some of her songs are still nice. i'm not talking about like,



girlfriend and stuff. it's catchy but, hey, it's pretty dumb too. heh. so i'm trying to recall the kinds of songs we listened to back in primary 5/6. i've come up with a grand total of. uh. maroon5, black eyed peas and avril lavigne. it's not like i listened to much music back then. talk about the proliferation of Youtube in the spread of music. it's kinda sad for simple plan/linkin park/avril lavigne/maroon5/black eyed peas because the younger generation (like my brother who's a mere four years younger) don't even know who they are or don't listen to these artistes anymore. too caught up with lady gaga, niki minaj, katy perry and the likes i guess. lousy. D: (on a side note, my mom knows who lady gaga is! OMG. she was like, even before lady gaga anita mui was already more flamboyant than her. tahh)

it must be the flu i'm having right now. don't really feel like studying.doing math. it's such a chore. with the main studying (econs) out of the way now, i'm in a relaxed mood. but i know i shouldn't. it's far from over, ain't it!

oh yeah. idk but i think my FB and Hotmail got hacked. i am positively pissed with whatever or who ever caused it. wth ok. both my FB and Hotmail down at the same time. apparently someone changed my password! WHAT! oh i just managed to reset my hotmail password. uh there was this list of delivery failure notices. i have no idea who sent what. probably some virus. urgh. i haven't downloaded anything in ages! how'd i even got a virus. but facebook is getting me pissy. it's not working. D: i hope i don't have to say goodbye to my facebook account. it'd be the end of the world for me. sigh. thankfully my blogger and gmail remain untouched. happiness. (:
hello goodbye; 5:07 PM